Pain So Deep
by pandorabox82
Summary: JJ and Alex get into a fight and that leads them to making a connection over their mutual pain. Written to promote the Profiler Choice Awards


"Oh, don't even give me that, Alex! You know damn well that I did everything in my power to keep my marriage together!" JJ knew that that she was being unreasonable, that it wasn't Alex's fault that Will had up and left her three weeks ago, flying around the world to be with Beth, of all people. She was just the easy target. And when she had implied that if she had only just worked a little harder to keep Will interested in her, she had blown a gasket.

When JJ looked at the woman, though, she saw that she was crying silently, the tears rolling down her face as she looked at the carpet of their hotel room. A tiny shard of guilt wormed its way into her heart and she sighed, sitting heavily on the bed and tucking her legs up against her chest, resting her head atop her knees. "James left me two months ago. I just wanted one of us to end up in a happy relationship."

Alex's voice was broken and quiet, and once more, that shard pricked at her, turning a little, hurting her more. "Erin and Dave are in a happy relationship," she countered, hoping that would mollify Alex.

"They don't count. They're accustomed to the lives we lead. And don't talk to me about Penelope and Hotch. That relationship is still too new." She sighed deeply, and JJ felt her heart ache even more. Reaching out, she patted the spot next to her and hoped that Blake would sit down next to her, let her offer some comfort.

It took a few minutes, but finally, she did settle next to her, making sure to keep a proper distance between them, as if she was afraid that JJ would hit her if she spoke out of turn once more. "I'm sorry," she finally said, watching out of the corner of her eye as Alex shrugged and continued to cry. "Can, can I hold you?" she finally whispered, feeling like she had to do something.

"I suppose." JJ gave the woman a small smile and let go of her legs, letting them fall so that she could wrap one arm around Alex's shoulders. Again, she proved to be reticent to trust her, taking a long time before she relaxed and let her body mold to JJ's. There was something comforting about her warm, heavy, weight and she breathed in the scent of her perfume. "Jennifer? Why are you suddenly being so accommodating?"

"I feel guilty. I shouldn't have lashed out the way that I did. I'm just a little on edge these days. Jessica has been very gracious in allowing Henry to spend time with Jack while we're out on a case, but that can't last forever. It wouldn't be right if I imposed on her like that." She let out a sigh huff of breath and rested her head against Alex's. "And if I had really been such a great profiler, I would have looked beyond the façade you show to the world and saw the pain in your eyes before this. I could have reached out to you, comforted you."

Alex shrugged a little before reaching out for her hand, clasping it tightly. "I doubt you would have noticed anyway. I tend to keep things hidden from even the most prying eyes. Oh god, I miss him so much."

JJ rubbed the back of her hand in soft circles, hoping to soothe the woman. It seemed like the next natural step in her progression of comfort was to turn her head and press her lips against the soft skin of Alex's cheek. She could taste the salt of her tears and JJ sighed, letting her tongue slip out to delicately lap them away. She had no idea what had come over her, why she was doing that, but it felt right at the moment. "I miss Will, too. I wish that things could be different. I wish that I had been a better wife."

"Don't." That one word was enough to make JJ stiffen, and then Alex was turning to her, cupping her face gently and looking deeply into her eyes. "You were fine. He couldn't get past your job." And then she closed the distance between them and kissed her fiercely.

JJ sighed into the kiss, her hands digging into the fabric of her pants. She didn't want to hold on to Alex, she knew that she would hold on to her too tightly, that she would hurt her, and she didn't want that. And then she felt like she was falling, and she braced herself for the way her body thumped back on the mattress. Alex pressed her body down into the softness of the mattress and she sighed a little against her lips.

She used the small opening and thrust her tongue into JJ's mouth, fairly attacking her. The onslaught overwhelmed her senses and she gave herself over to the kiss, letting Alex lead her on. JJ found, though, that she needed something to do with her hands, so she hesitantly wrapped them around Alex's waist, holding her close as the kiss lingered on.

Finally, the kiss broke, and Alex began to pepper her face in light kisses, playing close attention to her eyes and nose, teasing the lobe of her ear with her teeth. With her mouth free, JJ was able to let out little moans and coos, which seemed to drive the other woman on. "Oh, god, Alex, keep doing that!" she fairly screamed out as she began to nibble and suck at the pulse point on her neck.

"May I continue this, then?" she asked, pulling back a little to look into JJ's eyes. There was a tiny hint of doubt that she wanted to chase away from the woman, so JJ nodded and arched up, claiming Alex's lips in a hungry kiss that she hoped told her everything that she needed to know. With the pain they shared, it was wonderful to share something like this.

**NOMINATIONS HAVE STARTED FOR PROFILER'S CHOICE CRIMINAL MINDS FANFIC AWARDS! Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us for the annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards on fanfiction . net! Help us choose the best of the best of the CM stories on this site, and let your voice be heard. Please check out the nomination ballot and rules at the ProfilerChoiceAwards2013 Forum. All rules and information are on the forum. Nominations are due October 31st. All entries with ten or more categories filled out are eligible to win one of two Amazon gift cards!**


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